Letters to the Editor

If I were to ask each of you today what you remember most about my dad, or what will really resonate with you, I am certain that more than one of you would answer – HIS LAUGH.

Some of my earliest memories of church and church functions revolve around that laugh and the laughter he brought to others. I never looked for my dad when I was small – I listened for him… and he was never difficult to find. Without fail, he would be found among the group which was smiling the most and laughing the loudest.

Now growing up a stone’s throw from your church really gives you a different perspective in the world. Weekly Sunday services, Weddings, Baptisms, funerals, confirmations, ordinations, etc. really became the lifeblood of my existence. As a young acolyte I definitely looked forward to baptisms, weddings and funerals the most. Why, you might ask? Did I love to look at the beautiful babies? Yes, of course I did. Was it that I loved to see the bride’s gown and all her bridesmaids dressed in their finery… yes… Was it because I loved the liturgy of the services and the wonderful organ music?? Well, yes, this is true too. But the real truth lies deeper… Yes I confess, the real reason I loved being an acolyte at Baptisms, Weddings and Funerals was because dad would always give us extra allowance for being there. Yes, I was motivated by cold hard cash – sad to say, but it is true…. Usually a minimum of $2.00 could be earned, and back then this was a gold mine. I must say it was one of the better tricks to the trade that I learned from my brothers…..

But something happened to me along that journey to wealthy independence… I discovered one of the most powerful gifts my father possessed… the ability to comfort people when they needed comfort the most. My father was absolutely brilliant at funerals. He had the gift of turning sadness and tears into joy and laughter. There were countless times where I saw the same people who were weeping in their pews at the beginning of the service, leave with expressions of peace and happiness at the end. It was really astounding. A day of sadness became a day of hope.

I am not certain when I really began listening to my father’s sermons. I know that I always preferred church to Sunday school and had to be dragged kicking and screaming to my first kindergarten Sunday school class much to chagrin of my Mother…

I can tell you however, some of the content of the first sermon that I recall..

Now when Dad got worked up and really passionate during his preaching, he would make a fist, and do a “fake” pound of the pulpit… just to emphasize his point. During this particular sermon, there was no fake pounding, but real live pounding… I will paraphrase what I remember… It is not enough to come to church each Sunday say the prayers, sing the hymns, chat with your neighbors, put money in the plate and feel that your Christian duty is fulfilled. You have to “Sweat for your religion” (pound, pound, pound) You have to give it your whole heart, body and soul. Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This takes energy, this takes involvement you have to really want it, this is “all in…you must Sweat for your religion”.

When we discussed this sermon later – as was our dinner table tradition, he replied with a laugh – I never pounded the pew, don’t be silly… I would never do that. Now the fake pounding and full pounding would continue and were definitely a trademark throughout his preaching years, but he always vehemently denied having done so – too bad cell phone cameras weren’t around back then…

Several weeks, perhaps months later – not sure about dates… our parish youth group held a twelve hour all-night dance marathon from 9pm-9am in the parish hall to raise money. Well at the end of the marathon, one of the older teenagers in the group. Juni Laraquente went up to dad and said, “Father Harry, we just sweated for our religion… And as always dad burst into a full belly laugh and said “you sure did”!! He put is arm around Juni, yes that famous arm… and said Juni, you had to dance all night, cause I sure couldn’t….

And there before me in plain view was another of my father’s incredible talents – to make each person feel as though they were special…. And not just in a feel good sort of way… Dad could pinpoint the talent in others around him, and bring those those gifts to the surface – more importantly from the surface into service – service to share in the joy and worship of Jesus with your own individual gifts the gifts that made you unique, the gifts and talents given with love because they came from your soul. And in that moment you believed… You believed that your gift was the most important, and God loved you and welcomed your gift and ministry as his own.

Dad’s last sermon in St. Paul’s Patchogue was preached with both sadness and joy, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. St. Paul’s needlepoint guild had made a cushion for each of the rector’s of the church. On Dad’s cushion was a “Ship”. He held up the cushion that had been made to mark his tenure at St. Paul’s and said “I believe that we are on a wonderful journey together as Christians, and our life together is like living on one big ship… God is calling Joan and I to “swab the deck” down in Florida. Even though all of you will be on a different deck, our mission remains the same: Love one another as I have loved you… Just because our mission is in a different state, doesn’t mean you can’t visit…. Come on down to Orlando, and swab the deck with us… you will be welcomed with open arms…”

Open arms – a defining trait of Dad and another sermon springs into my thoughts from later on in his ministry as Dean of St. Luke’s Cathedral in Orlando Florida. ALL ARE WELCOME AT THE LORDS TABLE; and ALL ARE WELCOME TO SERVE THE LORD. It is not for us who are all sinners to decide who is worthy and who is not… For as sinners, we read the Bible and our own interpretations of scripture may be wrong, or jaded or prejudiced by our background, our own experiences, or our own upbringing. Therefore it is our duty, our obligation to spread the good news to all people. When it comes right down to it – none of us are worthy – “We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table…”

But through God’s grace all things are possible – grace which is afforded to each of us every single day. And a verse from one of Dad’s favorite hymns, Glorious Things of THEE are spoken, comes to mind… “Grace which like the lord the giver never fails from age to age…” Grace….

Another of Dad’s sermons which stands out in my mind was also preached at the Cathedral… In his words as I remember them: The Kingdom of Heaven is ours!! Do not let your hearts be troubled, I go to prepare a place for you, in my house there are many rooms….. Well, there may be many rooms, but the truth is the Kingdom is ours TODAY, there is no waiting, and we are all Citizens of Heaven living here on earth.

Citizens of Heaven living here on earth…. Yes it’s true, the Kingdom of God is a free gift that you have been given and you are a Citizen of Heaven living here on Earth.

The later years of my father’s ministry were spent in Ohio, first as the Vicar, and then as the Rector of St. Luke’s Granville. When Mom, Dad, Michael and I first ventured to Ohio, Granville was a mission. While Dad was there, St. Luke’s regained Parish status. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. Over 30 of us from Granville had driven in a bus for 3 hours to appear before the annual Diocesan Convention gathered in Cincinnati. We had the most beautiful church banner, and we all were wearing green St. Luke’s t-shirts (green was dad’s favorite color). On the bus ride down it had been decided that we would sing “When the Saints Come Marching In” as we entered the convention hall – instead of When the Saints – we changed the words to “Oh when St. Luke’s comes marching in… We practiced with great gusto on the bus, and we sounded fantastic.

When we arrived at the convention, we had to wait, because there was a topic which was being debated with a lot of intensity…. We waited over 30 minutes, and as they got ready to announce us, Dad called me to the front of the line… Now I had been quite content in the middle, so I was a little apprehensive about coming up front. Dad throws his arm around my shoulder (that famous arm) and says, “You are going to lead us behind the banner, and be ready for my signal. No matter what happens, just keep singing at the top of your lung!” “What do you mean?” I asked in a panic, “What’s wrong? What could happen?” He said, “Oh nothing… But trust me, whatever happens, just keep singing.” Well, I really didn’t have much choice at this point because at that moment we were announced over the loud speaker, and Dad looked at me and gave me the thumbs up. My stomach was in my throat, my voice had vanished and a small squeaking sound had replaced it. Then I remembered our practice on the bus, and I turned around and shouted 1, 2, 3 – and began singing at the top of my lungs.

At first, I remember nothing but faces of people sitting at round tables with looks of pure astonishment on their faces. They looked completely stunned at this motley crew marching into their meeting. And then, the miracle happened… suddenly I could no longer hear my own voice because in the blink of an eye the entire room was now on their feet clapping and singing so loudly that you felt as though all of heaven were singing with us – and there we were, all of us, Citizens of Heaven, here on earth singing together as St. Luke’s was now a parish family once again. I will never forget the smile and look of joy on my father’s face as we stood in front of Bishop Thompson that day. I will never forget the look sheer happiness that was glowing from my mother. And now everything had become so clear to me. I understood why my parents had been called to Ohio, and I was witnessing their mission being fulfilled in the eyes of God and his people. Later, my father learned that from that moment on, the convention continued without missing a beat, and the Bishop attributed it to the Love and Joy in Christ that St. Luke’s brought with them into the room. Love and joy in Christ.

Dad retired from St.Luke’s in Granville, only to come out of retirement for a position as interim rector of St. John’s in Lancaster, Ohio…. I did not travel very often to St. John’s but was privileged enough to be there for Dad’s final day… “Let not your hearts be troubled…” You are people of GOD and God takes care of his people. You will find an outstanding rector, and all will be well… Jesus is eternal… He is ever present, and he is here. He will guide your footsteps and and make the rough places plain…. A day of sadness also became a day of joy and laughter…

Love and Joy in Christ…. As I asked others in my family this week what sermons in Dad’s ministry had made and impact on them, the first answer from each of my brothers was, and I quote “Do you sweat for your religion?” Except for Chris, who said who couldn’t remember anything… “I guess I picked up that trait from Dad too…” My mother said she loved his sermons on the Devil… and of course, he was always brilliant at funerals…. My sister Cydney reminded me of another quote that Dad used quite often – “The Heart of God is Joy” and finally, my husband, Mike talked to me about analogy Dad used to try to explain the relationship that God wants to have with his people. “Think of God as your grandparent holding you up by his fingertips, and bouncing you on his knee…” In addition he reminded me of the powerful words that Dad had preached at his grandfather’s funeral…. “The only thing that truly separates us from the ones we love is time – and time too shall pass….

Dear Dad,

I miss you so much, but I know your laugh is echoing through the many rooms in heaven… I know how happy your parents, grandparents, and so many treasured friends are to have you home with them. Please know that:

I will do my best to “Sweat for my Religion” and to Love the Lord our God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

I will know that ALL ARE WELCOMED AT THE LORD’S TABLE AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO SERVE.

I know that The Kingdom of Heaven is ours and we are Citizens of Heaven living here on earth.

There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God and by his Grace we are all saved.

My heart will not be troubled for the heart of God is joy, and Jesus is Eternal.

So while God is having fun bouncing you on his knee, for awhile longer we will swab the deck, all the while knowing that the only thing that separates us from you is time, and time too shall pass....

I Love You!

p.s. Dear Reader… I apologize for all of the grammatical errors, but it was very difficult to edit this – being a perfectionist, I feel the need to ask for your forgiveness… In addition, I do write most of this with God being in the “masculine”. Please know that Dad was extremely supportive of inclusive language, and believed the Holy Spirit to be the feminine “side” of the TRINITY. May God’s Blessings be upon you, and may your life be filled with all the Love and Joy that Christ has to offer!

Janine Marie Sherman Ball.